“Rest in peace & paradise”
I never thought I would have to say that about a friend, and definitely not one of my best friends.
I’m going to be honest and say that I didn’t know how to react when I first found out. I thought someone was trying to play a trick on me, I wasn’t about to believe it. “No way. What?…what?” And I wasn’t trying to sound arrogant when I asked the person who was texting me if they were being serious, but it was the only thing I could think of, along with “yes, I will attend the service”.
I don’t know how to feel but tears keep welling into my eyes every time I think about him, Trung “Charlie” Pham, one of the few people in this world that knows absolutely everything about me. He is my brother, my best friend, my other half… and now he’s gone.
I always just assumed that he would get better. So many months spent in the hospital, so many visits, so many conversations about what we would do when he got out and how much fun we were going to have. It never occurred to me that maybe we wouldn’t be able to do all these things we promised. It never occurred to me that maybe he wouldn’t win this fight. It never occurred to me that I would have to deal with this pain so early on in life; losing one of my closest friends and having to keep living on without him.
All I can think is, “It wasn’t meant to be this way”. He should be healthy and happy, be able to fulfill all his goals and aspirations, marry the girl of his dreams, have a family, grow old, make lifelong friends, live life. But for some reason his life was cut short… and I don’t understand why. WHY did my best friend have to go so early on in life? He was going places, he had dreams, he was going to get somewhere and be somebody. He was going to change so many peoples’ lives and now he can’t do that. It’s not fair.
It hurts and I don’t know how else to deal with it but cry. I’m angry, sad, confused… and mostly shocked. I don’t think people keep the thought “this may be the last time I’ll ever see this person” in the back of their heads when they leave their loved ones. But after this happened I finally understand what people are saying when they say “live everyday like its your last” and to hold loved ones close because you don’t know if that’s the last time you’ll ever see them again. What would it be like if I never took anything for granted?
Nothing can bring him back now and I feel like nothing can ease the pain, but at least I know that he’s not hurting anymore. He fought hard and he always stayed optimistic even when most people would’ve snapped and lost their minds. My brother is a soldier, my best friend, and now my angel.
Rest in Peace, Paradise, and Love. I love you always and forever, Trung.
